I always ponder this question. Why am I a fan of Jung Dong Ha? How did that happen? What motivates me to continue to be his fan, despite of an uneasy feeling that this is maybe somewhat unreasonable, absurd, foolish, considering my age? Am I being weird? Is it juvenile of me to be a fan to such a degree, that I feel the need to write a blog dedicated to him?
Let's think about it logically. Being a fan is not the same as being in love with someone, although for some people it's very close, or the difference is blurred. When I wrote "people" I was actually thinking about other women. I don't know for sure, but it seems to me that women in particular are often struck with this affliction of "loving" this or that male public figure. From what I have seen with my own eyes, as a past member of certain fandom (I won't mention the name, it's too embarrassing), the affliction is independent of the age, marital situation, education level, personality type, or social status. This means, that there is some kind of universal, emotional need inside women, to find a "prince" to love and cherish, and maybe to fantasize about these feelings being reciprocated. This seems to be like a small fantasy world, outside of the family, job, marriage, children, hobbies, etc., that women are capable of cultivating. This little secret world exist in parallel with their real every day lives, and usually they do not interfere with each other. Sometimes the woman may become obsessed, but I am not talking about sick-minded women, but just about perfectly mentally healthy and reasonable women. This is what I consider myself. I don't think men ever are in love with a public figure females, like actresses, or sports stars. If they are, they become stalkers.
Going back to "perfectly reasonable women", who are fans of singers, or actors, and are "in love" with them, I often think about the men who are the objects of such affection. Depending on the celebrity status, there can be hundreds, or thousands (maybe millions?) of women who declare their love for him.I often think of Jung Dong Ha in this context. He is not a huge celebrity, but he definitely has his faithful group of women fans who let him know they adore him, and who can't get enough of him. What does he think of it? How does it make him feel? Does he understand this kind of devotion?
Or, perhaps he thinks that these women are deranged, or something is missing from their lives, so they turn to celebrity worshiping as means of escape from problems?
Or, perhaps, he doesn't think about it at all - they are his fans, they pay for his stuff, so everything is OK, he can make a living. Right?
That would be the best.
As for myself, nothing is missing in my life. I'm generally satisfied with what I have. Well, maybe I would like to have a ton of money, to be able to travel all over the world. :)
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A couple of days ago I finished watching a new Korean drama "Madame Antoine". As usual, in addition of the main story, there were a couple of secondary, or side stories. They were all positive, lighthearted, optimistic. But one of the stories was a little bittersweet. It resonated with me a lot.
There is this single older woman psychologist, in her late 50-ties (it helps that she looks really good for her age). She is diagnosed with cancer, and even though the doctors strongly recommend that she undergoes surgery, and radiation therapy, she decides not to get treated, but instead to live her remaining time doing things that she really enjoys. She even makes a bucket list.
Around that time, she meets a young man in his early 20-ties, who is very cute.He is vibrant, confident, always smiling and saying nice things to her, very cheerful and friendly. He is like that with everyone, that's his personality. Unlike others around him, the lady is able o appreciate what a treasure this young man is. She finds herself being attracted to him, wanting to be around him, and wanting to spend time with him.
Soon everyone, but him, notices this situation. His friends tell him that the old lady "likes him". He is shocked by this news, and he doesn't know how to handle it, so he is avoiding her. Especially, that one of his younger friends comments: "That's gross, she is 38 years older!".
However, Ms. Antoine, who is a very sensible, and compassionate woman, puts them straight: "You think that when you grow old, your heart grows cold, and you cannot love?! There is nothing to be embarrassed about. It's a blessing to be liked by someone".
Meanwhile, the old lady finds out everybody knows her "secret", and runs away in shame, to her house on Jeju Island. The young man actually misses her, and is shaken by the news that she has cancer. He asks his older brother whether he should go and bring her back. Hyung tells him: "Don't go, if you think she is pitiful. Don't do this out of pity. If you pity her, don't go."
The story has a positive conclusion. This young man makes a mature decision, to bring the old lady back, and he wants to convince her to get treatment. He simply realizes, that he enjoys their relationship, and he finds it in his heart to not reject her affection, but rather continue it, the way it was before. He considers her a mentor, and does not feel awkward that she has somewhat romantic feelings towards him. Because he took to heart that "it's a blessing to be liked by someone".
I was actually stunned that Koreans would even discuss the subject of friendship/affection between an old woman, and a very young man. The way it was depicted did not seem weird at all, and came out to look quite natural. It was shown in a heartwarming way. I was impressed.
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Hmm, why am I writing about it? Not sure.
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